So here's the deal. I don't really get a period monthly (TMI, I know). Well I am sure I do, but it causes no discomfort. I barely notice it happening and I love it this way. Gone are my dreaded teenage years of painful cramps and heavy flow. I have my birth control method to thank for this "side effect" of pretty much nonexistent periods. However, I recently learned no periods doesn't necessarily equal no PMS!
The other day my husband very calmly and in a nonjudgmental manner asked if I was okay? I knew he was being apprehensive, but then he blurted it out, "I've noticed you're... you're... more emotional than usual." He saw my defensive eyebrows rise and immediately said, "it's okay, I've just been tracking our fights and it coincides with a 28-day cycle, however, the cycle is off."
WHAT THE HELL? He quickly followed up with a very safe: "oh, I am not judging you, I just want to know how to help... is everything okay?"
WHAT AND HELL, AGAIN! Was this his nice way of asking: "are you PMSing more than usual?" According to him, my emotional outbursts defined as "fighting with him or yelling at the kids" were suddenly not jiving with his nifty tracking system, which turns out he's been tracking for over a year!
I must say, this is my husband's strength. He likes data and so over a year ago he decided to track our fights on a calendar. This was intended to make him better, or at least this is the story he tells. Apparently, that calendar caught a 28-day sequence. Surprise, Surprise... don't all men believe everything is connected to a woman's menstrual cycle? Nevertheless, there's now data to back up such a claim.
In all seriousness, I thought it was interesting that our fights corresponded with my cycle. I had an inclining but I would never admit that to my husband. I am also the more prideful of the two. He quietly tracked the data and only brought it up out of genuine concern. A concern that is valid since I've been under more stress than usual.
He caught on to this change not only as he saw the shifts in my behavior, but through his "wifey mood tracker". I suppose he can go on tracking and from that we can go on learning. Not that we didn't already know stress can lead to mood altering issues. Yet, this tracker brings to life patterns that if unchecked could become extremely unhealthy. Besides, his care and concern is just the ticket. The hubby did a great job of expressing he wasn't judging me, just concerned. So even though I may not experience your typical period, my body is going through changes month-to-month, as it should, and awareness helps us navigate any of the personal struggles that surface through those changes. In the end, his tracker helped us talk about stress and how to support each other. Something I wanted to be pissed about when I first heard of, actually helped!
How would you react in this situation?