My husband left town today, but before he was up for his 5am Uber to the airport, he was up very late doing homework with our daughter, bathing three kids, washing our family's clothes, and organizing our home in general. At 11pm he was finally packing his bag for a dude's ski trip. In that process he ended up with two right hand gloves and a winter coat three sizes too big. It didn't matter. He packed what he had and did so with a smile. He also found a really cool and borderline scary ski mask to take on this trip. Score!
Per usual, my husband didn't take a moment out of his busy family and professional routine to think about winter clothes and the bone-chilling 10-degree weather in Denver. This doesn't make him selfless. It's just who he is.
To me, this is ideal.
If you follow me on social media, you know I always boast about the greatness of my spouse while also adding the chronic caveat that he isn't perfect. It's like I want everyone to know I get it, he's human, of course he's not perfect. He's flawed. We all are. Then I think, but to me, he's everything I ever wanted and everything I deserve. He's my ideal man.
What's your ideal?
I should now mention my husband's ski trip is also a bachelor party (mini vacation). So as he's packing, I asked about the adult entertainment portion of his weekend (of course he didn't type this out on the written agenda he diligently emailed me with flight schedules and such). We laughed together and talked about the bachelor party standard which includes a lap dance, or two, or more.
To me, that too is ideal.
Not the dancer(s) of course, but the easy and open conversation we have about everything and anything. I love that kind of love. Not everyone's take, but surely mine. I don't think twice about who my husband is when I am not around. That's the best anyone should hope for in a marriage.
However, I remember a time in my life where my insecurities were so deep, I'd accept not discussing the obvious or fight against it. Then somewhere along the way I realized my worth, my marriage's worth, and something like stripper appearances during a bachelor party no longer sparks jealous or insecurity. Like with everything in our marriage we talk about strippers as we talk about $150+ lift tickets for an amazingly scenic snow board sesh in the Colorado mountains.
To me, that's ideal. He's ideal. I am enough for him while he is enough for me. What's your relationship ideal? It's okay, you can answer.... No strippers!