Yesterday I went in hoping that they would lower the amount of medication she is on. Instead I came home with 4 more. I walked out of there feeling completely drained. Like I had been fighting for so long and I got knocked down for the last time. I just can't do it anymore. I'm tired of consulting with doctors and driving to appointments and dragging my kid to blood draws. I'm sick of fighting with my kid everyday to take care of her skin. I'm tired of worrying about getting prescriptions refilled and then having to remember to pick them up. I'm tired of nothing ever really working.
I am trying to get past these feelings. To brush myself off and get back up for another round. And I will. But today it feels impossible. I can't even see where I can draw the strength from.