Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Initiating Sex

Yes we are going to go there and it's going to get a little personal. Ready? (Mom and Dad you have been warned...)

So in my house, my husband and I have different ideas about who is suppose to initiate sex. I really believe that if we could just get on the same page about it we could have a lot more sex. My husband's feelings on the issue is that he is always willing and ready for sex. I can always assume that he wants to have sex. I just have to say the word. Kind of this like...

My feelings are a bit different. I am very much the leader of the tribe during the day. I am cooking, cleaning, working, homeschooling, making every decision for all of us all day long. I feel like I am initiating our whole life all day long. I feel like the least that my husband can do is be in charge of our sex life. I am the dominant one in everything else. I don't want to have to be the dominate one when it comes to our sex life. And really by the time I am getting into bed I am still dealing with the stress of the day and balancing and planning out the next day. It's hard for me to really relax and get into the mood. But nothing can make me forget about the to-do list and budgeting for the rest of the week faster than when my husband initiates sex.

And let's face it, my husband doesn't need to be put in the mood. He has already stated that he is always in the mood.

I can see why my husband would assume that because I am always so stressed that I don't want sex. This is far from the truth. Sex is a great way to get out of my own head and reconnect with him and actually relax. So what's the solution?

Some people will schedule sex, and that's great, but just not for me. If I see "have sex" on my daily planner it will just feel like one more damn thing I have to fit into my already packed day. I need it to be more spontaneous and with less pressure. I think if my husband and I just talk about it and really understand how the other feels then maybe we can both initiate sex more. Because when it comes down to it, that's what we both want.

Who do you think should initiate sex? 


  1. The initiation comes from both the husband and wife. Lets admit it, it feel good to feel wanted.
    As much as you want him to initiate it, he wants you to do the same thing. This should definitely come from both of you. Sex is on my schedule everyday. Sometimes I don't accomplish it, but my husband knows that I want him as much as he wants me.


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