Monday, May 4, 2015

Am I Raising A Brat?

...At some point I imagine every parent has wondered to themselves: "Am I raising a brat?" No matter your definition of brats, whether it's children who are entitled, spoiled, ungrateful, or similar, we've all likely felt the whisper and questioned ourselves.

This question all too often leads to guilt, more questions, and only opens up a can of worms. A better way to look at this question could be... 

Am I a brat?

The old cliche "lead by example" comes into play here. This statement is everywhere, but never more true than when it comes to raising children. If we're questioning who they are, the focus should immediately turn to who you are. 

My first five years as a parent were full of guilt and a focus placed on external factors. As I've seasoned, I know enough to look inside myself and exam who I am as a mother and person. This introspection has been liberating.

To me, there's a lot of power in looking inward. When I label my children's behaviors as "good" or "bad" I understand that these labels stem from who I am or am not. Children truly are watching our every mood calculating who to be and how to behave from our example. 

I've never understood this more than I have recently with our almost 9-year old. He mimics us to a tee. He's a storyteller like his momma same body language and all. He's a sports lover like his dad down to the heckling and aggression. He reprimands his younger siblings in the way we reprimand him... "how many times do I have to tell you, say pleaseeee?" How annoying is that statement? Yet, the hubby and I spew statements like these without flinching and only hear how annoying they are when our oldest demands answers from his little siblings.

When we have moments of frustration toward our children the best remedy is to breathe and look at ourselves. Is who we are beneficially to who they are? Kids will be kids and to label them brats is to place who they are solely on them. Who we are and how we lead them to be the best humans beings has everything to do with us! Kids aren't brats, parents are and children are simply watching and copying our every mood.

Agree with this momma? Leave us a comment.

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