Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Lessons in Love



Today marks 12 years since I've officially been with my hubby. This means 12 years ago he asked me to be his girlfriend. At that point, life was easy. The most annoying part of life was having to be apart for too long. Much has changed since becoming my hubby's newly minted girlfriend. We grew up, evolved and learned invaluable love lessons:

1. Love is a verb. Such a cliché and yet it's true. When I was two and a half years into my marriage it was so hard we almost divorced. My husband recently revealed that during the troubled times though I spoke to him with contempt and used harshly critical words, my actions were loving overall. I supported him. I contributed and never truly stopped loving him (you wouldn't have guessed that by my hateful words at the time). Even when things aren't turbulent for couples and you aren't facing challenges love is still all about ACTION! Love is in the doing and not simply about words strung together. That being said the best way to keep your relationship in a loving space is to show love through your gestures, listen actively and constantly "woo" one another.

2. Love is evergreen. Ed Sheeran said it best. Real love doesn't grow old. Love is about being able to transition and grow together because life itself is ever-changing. This dynamic is inevitable, so relationships must grow with time. This growth means progress of any kind, reaching new goals together and simply maturing. 

3. Love is hard work. If your long-term romantic relationship has always been easy then you're a rare, rare specimen. Challenges like changes are typical aspects of life and so love will inevitably go through ups and downs. The secret is to understand the downs will come, prepare for them and enjoy the highs when you have them. Embrace that love takes work and never giving up on the hard work leads to truly successful and lasting relationships. 

What has a loving relationship in your life taught you?


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