Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The Evolution of Friendship

Last weekend I spent time with women I've known for over 15 years. Funny how you can bring friends together and its like nothing has changed yet everything in your life really has changed. Life is no longer about boy drama and college papers and more about career moves and home purchases. 

Like life all friendships are in a constant state of evolution. People you thought would be your friends forever become strangers and those you never thought your "type of pal" become the friends you cannot live without. Doesn't matter the situation, friendships always evolve.

The secret to the best of the best evolutions:

Make the time and do the work! Friendships quite often dissolve because two or more people simply don't make the effort like they first did. Old friends become too consumed by daily routines  to continue evolving their friendships. Work, children, or spouses take over and once-close pals quickly hit the back burner. To avoid this friendship pitfall over time, remember to be an active participant in your friendship evolutions and actually remain in contact as frequently as possible. This day in age all it takes is a periodic text message to keep a sisterhood alive.

Be each other's biggest fan. Some of my closest friends are girls I actively keep up with. I make it a point to remember what milestones they're personally reaching and involve myself in their moments of triumph and struggle. I am their biggest cheerleader. It could be a new marriage, a breakup, lost jobs, or huge promotions, big moves or little victories, but I am constantly honoring and acknowledging the impact my friends' lives make on this earth.

Know when to let go. Not all friendships stand the test of time and that's okay. People change like seasons so don't force friendships that simply aren't naturally evolving. If you have to manipulate people or situations to maintain a friendship than it's likely met and exceeded its expiration date, and that's okay! It's okay to let go.

Be willing to be more than just a friend! Sometimes friendships require more than the basics. Be willing to be your friends' "therapist" "mover" "teacher" and/or "event planner" to name a few. It might just be what the friendship needs. A willingness to go above and beyond ensures your friend bond grows to new heights. Plus, one day you'll need the favor returned. 

Become superbly honest with each other! Real friendships are honest friendships. This is the biggest evolution in most friendships among adults. Teens and young adults often share superficial connections that lack true depth. Authentic relationships evolve and becomes more authentic than a facade of perfection. True friends dont have to worry about judgment or fake, shallo friendships. 

What are your best friendships all about?!?

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