Monday, September 8, 2014

Can kids really become "parent-deaf?"

I'd heard about this occurrence so much growing up. My mother claimed we'd never listen to her out in the presence of others or that we didn't believe in her advice or wisdom. I knew for certain that couldn't be. However, I'm starting to think again...

I know now that mom was on to something. Lately our grade schooler has developed a habit of contradicting me and his father. It's usually little things, but he can't seem to agree with us on much. It is as though his new habit is to make mom and dad out to be wrong. Sometimes he's clearly mistaken and still he contradicts us. We don't take this personally. Our son is a sweetheart and at an age where he's coming into his own. Perhaps he is trying to assert his own opinions and this is his way of solidifying his identity and independence.

Another clear battle between parent and child is his ability to act as though he really is "parent-deaf!" As soon as a new school year rolls around and he's mesmerized by a new teacher suddenly everything teacher says (or does) is 100% gospel. It can be something mom or dad just said, but when we said it, it went ignored or we were according to him "wrong."

I could say something simple such as "reading twenty minutes a day is good for you" and immediately my kiddo counters with reasons why that's not true, why readying is boring and why he'll never read again ever in the history of the world. But don't let his teacher send home a reading log for 20 minutes of daily reading. Not until teacher says "reading 20 minutes a day is good for you" is reading the coolest thing since sliced bread! Suddenly he's scouring his personal library claiming there nothing to read and is enthusiastic to read every single from in his 100+ books.

Could it be? When kids come to a certain age is what we parents say just not important, and the moment someone else says it they're in accordance, compliant and non-contradictory? 

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