It has been awhile since we had a guest post. But this hilarious post by Tawny Moreno will more than make up for it!
It began with an enticing question by Penelope Cruz over the 2013 holidays. “What else?” and we were talking about the Nespresso and how nice it would be to have a latte, and how it might be time to move up from our Mr. Coffee. That’s right; we were never members of Keurig nation. But we were about to enter the secret society of Nespresso.
At least that’s how it felt when we visited a Williams-Sonoma store to actually see the machines and employees there knew little more than how to use it to make an espresso. One employee quoted us a really low, but later refused, price and another employee later in the day indicated it would cost us $140 to join the Nespresso club (false) where we could purchase our coffee pods. By the way, we were told at Williams-Sonoma that they are not allowed to sell the coffee, only the machines. Such secrets!
So after visiting the same store for the second time on the same day, we were twice as confused about the product, the price, the coffee, the club, but we went home and ordered our Nespresso Pixie online and got a pretty good deal. While waiting for our machine to arrive, we decided to drive out to the South Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa to visit the Nespresso boutique which is located inside Bloomingdales.
We were still confused, but curious and committed as we drove out to the Plaza. I actually got nervous and wondered aloud whether we would be refused Nespresso samples or not be allowed to purchase coffee pods at the boutique because we had no proof yet of owning the machine nor membership in the secret society. I was beginning to feel unworthy of Nespresso.
The Nespresso boutique in Bloomingdales is very nice. Everyone who assisted us at both the tasting bar (all you can drink) and the boutique were knowledgeable and professional, and I couldn’t help thinking that it would benefit the Williams-Sonoma employees if they were allowed to participate in the Nespresso 101 course these folks had apparently attended.
We were impressed and walked out with 170 pods of coffee, having bought a multi-pak to not only try just about every type of coffee they produce, but also to receive a free acrylic cube that holds the coffee pods. We also came home with two heavy-duty plastic bags, with pre-paid postage, in which you can mail 200 of the used pods for recycling by dropping off the sealed bag at any UPS store - an environmental plus which they cleverly call Ecolaboration.
We now had our coffee but were still waiting on the machine. We decided we needed the perfect sized cups for both an espresso and a lungo (a coffee pod the same size as the espresso but the concentration of coffee is such that you can make a little larger drink without losing the flavor). Heaven forbid we require our new Nespresso Pixie to drop coffee into our mix-matched old mugs, so we headed over to Ikea where we purchased six espresso cups/saucers as well as six lungo-sized cups/saucers.
We’ve got our coffee supply, and the perfect cups, but no machine. We kept our ears pealed for the sound of the UPS delivery truck and it finally arrived (actual time between ordering and receiving was just over a week). As we opened the box, we began having suspicions that we didn’t receive a new machine. While it was wrapped and padded appropriately, my husband noticed a drop of dried coffee on a piece of the cardboard and the 16 pods of coffee that were supposed to be included were not.
Still unsure, we unpacked the Pixie and placed it on the counter. I filled the water receptacle and when I lifted the handle to expose the opening where the coffee pod is placed, a used coffee pod fell into the tray. Gross! Here we had waited so long (ahem, one week) only to have to return the used machine and wait again. But, the return process was quick and easy following a phone call to Amazon. We simply wrapped up the box and a UPS driver arrived a day later to pick it up.
Another three days and we had our brand new machine and finally a chance to drink some of that damn good coffee. We replaced our initial coffee pod supply by ordering online with no problems and quick receipt.
I’m happy to report that despite all the initial confusion and anxiety, we are now functioning well in the Nespresso family enjoying an espresso, lungo or latte within minutes of desiring one. Friends who have visited have enjoyed it too and several have expressed an interest in a Nespresso coffeemaker. We are happy campers (and it's worth noting that if we ever get the silly notion to actually go camping, our Nespresso Pixie is small enough to take along).
Tawny, thank you so much for sharing your hysterical story with us!
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