Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Routine and Structure


Lately my 2 kids have been horrible. Their behavior has been off the charts bad. My husband and I have been spending a lot of time trying to figure out what is going on with these 2. One thing we have noticed is that because of homeschooling we are lacking a solid routine. When before there was a strict bedtime and wake-up time with a routine that almost never changed, we now go to bed at different times, sometimes wake up at 10 am and sometimes at 7am. There is no real structure to their days and this is causing excessive meltdowns and lots of whining from both kids.

You may have heard this over and over, but I can tell you that I am learning it the hard way. Kids absolutely need routine and structure. Well mine do anyway. Here are a few reasons why.

  • Security: by knowing what time they will be woken up, taken to school, read to or ever fed, kids feel more secure that their needs are going to be met. Imagine relying on other people for every meal or to get you to your commitments and not knowing if and when that is going to happen! By not knowing when and where and with who, you can elevate the fear and stress that kids deal with. Being a kid already comes with so much unknown. 
  •  Power Struggles: we have the same argument in my family every week. It always starts with "where do you want to eat?". Of course I get 3 different answers and the power struggle begins. Who's going to get their way this time? By getting into a routine can eliminate this unnecessary argument. Setting up a schedule of who gets to pick or even restaurants to rotate would help things run more smoothly. 
  • Self-Disciple/Control: by having a sense of organization kids can better deal with the unexpected change. Over the weekend our plans were going to change and my kids both had complete and embarrassing meltdowns. Instead of knowing how to deal with unexpected change and knowing that sometimes things need to shift they completely lost their minds. 
  • Rules Are Meant to be Broken: Of course I don't want to run my house with military precision. If one day we want to forgo the daily routine and go to Disneyland we will! 
Do you have a set schedule and routine in your house? 
Do you and/or your family do better with a schedule and routine? 




5 comments:

  1. I do have a set schedule and my children thrive on it. Children need to know what is coming next and what is expected. Even though I home school, I still wake up my children by a certain time, have lunch, snack, rest, and bed at specific times as well. Prior to bed we follow the same order of activities every night as well.

    Tomorrow I have a post going up on one of the ways we use schedules in our home. I invite you to pop by tomorrow and check it out.
    xoxo

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  2. We have a routine we usually follow and off we don't Janelle had major melt downs! It's hard to follow a routine but is much needed in or house

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    1. I am learning that it is also much needed in our house too!

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  3. I don't know how we got past it, but you will. You sound like a fantastic parent and you know your household. You will do it.

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  4. Thanks Lisa! It's like each "hard' stage ends just in time for a new one to start!

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