Friday, January 24, 2014

Too Many Options

The other day I had one of those not so great parenting moments. Let me be honest, I lost my patience and yelled at my kids. And it was all over Subway sandwiches.  We were getting food together to take on a picnic and my original plans didn't work so plan b was Subway. I asked the kids what they wanted and a whole thing happened. No one could agree on what to get. This drama happens a lot to us. I looked at my husband and told him that I really felt that our kids have too many options and too much say in what we do, eat and go.

Growing up we didn't get the choice, my parents made the choice for us. They decided what movie we were going to watch, where we went on vacation and what radio station we listened to in the car. If we were really lucky we got to choose between A or B. My kids now have so many choices when it comes to everything. Part of that is great because my kids get to have more and do more than I did as a kid. But I am finding that there is a dark side to this.

When we give our girls the power to make the decision its overwhelming. They take so long to go through all the options and they usually fight and my husband and I get frustrated. The other side is that when we don't let them choose we get complaining and even tears.

This is an issue we are working with in our household.  We are trying to find the balance of giving our kids options without giving them too much control.

Do you give your kids a lot of option? 
Or do you limit them?
Leave us a comment! 

4 comments:

  1. Growing up there weren't many options either. We didn't get a choice of what we ate, where we went, what we wore or what time we went to bed. After reading several parenting books I try to give my two year old son options so he feels more independent and throws less tantrums because he "feels in control" but it really is exhausting. Everything can't be a discussion or a choice, I sometimes feel as if I have no power which I fear could lead to a lack of respect.

    While choices are important for children to establish their independence and learn how to speak up for themselves. they still do need to know when to listen to mom and dad.

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    1. So well said. We are really struggling trying to find the line between giving them choices to teach them independence and responsibility, and giving them too much power.

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  2. Honestly, though I know it's "old school" (but then again, so is BB) I think my Trio are better equipped for real life because I didn't give them too many options. They ate what was given , with the only options being water,milk or juice(don't believe in sodasw/meals),they saw programs I deemed appropriate, and they wore what was bought for them (though I did let them do their own combinations of articles). Believe me, they will always have an opinion on something and it's a giant disservice to our young to think all things will be up to discussion. It is best for parents to set the boundaries, and let THE CHILDREN see what works to change them. This is as it will be in life. BB2U

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    1. Thanks for the comment BB! I have to say I agree with the old school approach and I feel that we have got much more free with choice since we have 2 now. I think that options are good for my kids but I need to work on limiting the choices. Instead of saying "what do you want to wear?" I need to say "do you want to wear this? or this?" Give them 2 options instead of a whole closet full.

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