Monday, November 18, 2013

Being UNfriended On Facebook

I've never cared about being unfollowed or unfriended. But recently an honest to goodness friend unfriended me on Facebook. If a close friend closes that door that makes a huge statement. And I get the message loud and clear.  The last she said to me was "I'll get over it!" And I believe she will. Hopefully!

I had written all the details on this post  as to how and why, but out of respect to this person's privacy, I've erased those. Truth is, there's two sides to every spat so being one-sided here just didn't feel fair. Yet I continue to contemplate friendship and all that comes with making and keeping friends.

A few days ago I spent the afternoon with a gal I've known since high school for 15 plus years. She and I were clearly out of touch, never really too close; but when her brother passed recently, I was drawn to supporting her. I can't do or say anything. But I can wholeheartedly listen. I can show up. The loss of life does something very different to relationships than what being unfriended on Facebook does

Real life is so much sweeter than the virtual world. This coming from the lover of all things social media! So for now, I'll focus on the relationships that come easy (as in natural) and the relationships that fulfill while remaining virtually unfriended by someone I consider one of my BFFs (Best Friend FOREVER)! That's right... forever! And a little Facebook unfriending isn't getting in the way of that!

Do you believe in best friends? 
Are friendships meant to be complicated? 
Share your insight below...


  1. I went through a challenging period last year and was dealing with emotional work-related trauma. I took a leave of absence and in one week I lost three co-workers as Facebook "friends". Initially it hurt but I long for sincerely and love in my relationships so if something less was weeded out, then so be it.

    It still hurts though. I feel for you.

    You're right, real life is so much sweeter than the virtual world and "real life" really is what should matter most to us.

    Wishing you a lovely day.

    1. Thanks, Jennifer. I appreciate your comment! Because it does hurt and I didn't actually have to type that for it to be understood! Wishing you a lovely day, too!

  2. One of my favorite poems on friendship is by Kahlil Gibran
    A few of the lines go as follows:
    When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
    For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
    And let your best be for your friend.
    If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
    For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
    Seek him always with hours to live.
    For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
    And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
    For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

    I realized when a close friend moved to Germany that my friendship and love for her was clearer in her absence as the poem says sometimes the mountain is clearer from the plain to the climber. The poem also says let your best be for your friend, share your grief and problems but remember also to come to your friend for celebration and joy! It's truly a blessing to be blessed with best friends, yet relationships take work to be successful. Communication, respect, and understanding should be at the cornerstone of a thriving friendship. Sounds like this action of "unfriending" might lead to some positive introspection.In the meantime, yes, celebrate and enjoy the beautiful friendships you currently have for they are roses that have bloomed from you watering and feeding them with acts of kindness, thoughtfulness and commitment! Glad we're friends!

    1. Wow! I'm glad we're friends, too. Now if I could only figure out who you are. I have some idea. Thanks for your comment.


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