Friday, March 8, 2013

What I Should Have Said


We have all been here. In a situation where we were tongue tied. Then hours later all the words you wish you would have said surface. This just happened to Jamie G. 

Recently Jamie was at a doctors office for a follow-up appointment for her 2 year old son. While in the waiting room Jamie was given dirty looks and could plainly hear a woman talking about her and her son. In the moment Jamie ignored her and let the woman's words hurt her feelings. It was obvious she needed to vent. Who wouldn't after such an incident? So I suggested she write a letter to the woman.......

Dear Lady sitting in the doctor's office waiting room with her daughter holding her Grandson,

                 I did not appreciate the glare you gave me while my son was playing with his train on the kid table, yes I said KID TABLE, at the doctors in the waiting room. Then you went and bad mouthed my son in Spanish while he organized 2 chairs in a row and started playing drums on them with his hands. How and when did him being full of energy and creativity become, as you put it “trouble making". You said that he was "causing problems, he had too much energy, and that’s what happens when his mom never watches him”. And that is just what I overheard. I can only imagine what else you said about us.

        I saw you look down on us and I just sat there truly saddened at how cruel you are. My son had visited urgent care just 3 days before this and was in pain. While he was in pain all I wanted was his usual self back. I walked right past you as they called us back and I felt your eyes glaring at me. I felt guilty and it affected me so much that I told the doctor. His response was “ That is how little boys are full of energy it’s normal. HOW RUDE!” So as I was coming home all the sadness went away and I felt like I had to stand up for what was right. I felt that my feelings should have not been ignored. I want you to know that I worked with kids as a site leader at an after school program and I know what is appropriate public behavior. I have been a stay at home mom since my son was born, and I do watch him, all day, everyday. I encourage his creativeness and I let him be a kid. We were at a Doctors office lady. All I did was let my son be himself. He wasn't doing anything wrong! He is a normal 2 year old who is full of energy. Like all other 2 year olds he is rambunctious, vivacious, lively, sweeter than life, healthy, thriving, lovable toddler. No we do not encourage sugar in his diet because he is a natural energizer bunny all day. 

                 You made me feel like something was wrong with us and that we needed to change but  I have come to the conclusion that ....
 MY SON IS NOT THE PROBLEM. YOU ARE!

I just kindly ask that next time you sit in an office and you decide to lay judgment on a 2 year old have compassion. You can't judge someone by sitting in a waiting room with them for a short period of time. So lady please next time think twice and love others how you would want to be loved! Next time and I hope there is not a next time I will not let someone make us feel any less or give us the stink eye like you did. 


Seriously who could bad mouth this face? 

Has this ever happened to you? When you wish you would have said something when you had the chance? 



Jamie is Mommy to 2 year old Michael and is married to her charming and funny husband Michael. Jamie is sweet as sugar. At her son's last birthday party while unwrapping gifts she referred to a Spiderman toy as a "Spiderman Barbie". She has 5 older sisters so this boy stuff is still new to her. 

4 comments:

  1. Jamie, I have so been here. A lot of times, like you, I bit my tongue and just felt bad inside. Which is so wrong for a mother who is doing her very best - the best way she chooses to raise her child(ren).

    I once did speak out when a woman was very nasty to us at a movie theater. My six yr old was wiggling in his seat while she was leaving the theater and I asked him to sit back and sit still. As she walked off she said under her breathe "he doesn't know how to sit still." I saw her outside of the theater and asked her to repeat her comment. Caught off guard, she very rudely began to judge my son in front of him saying he was "misbehaving during the entire movie" (which he wasn't) and that her child would never do that. Her child (maybe 12 years old) just watched on. I listened and then responded "he's a child, watching a kids movie." And she raised her voice even more, just visually upset. It then really irked her when I kindly asked if her judgement of a small child in such an aggressive fashion was the right example for HER 12 year old? She was then so upset, but I stayed calm watching her walk off waving her arms, still judging, saying she was done with us.

    I must admit speaking out during this situation was probably for all those times I bit my tongue. But more importantly, I showed my son through my example that we should stand up for ourselves and try to remain tactful/kind in doing so.

    Thanks again for sharing this experience. So many moms have been here. We understand the feeling, we really do!

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  2. Thanks for sharing Jamie Some people are such jerks! God bless them, they don't know what there doing!

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  3. I've definitely gotten some stares and whispers but this story is the complete opposite...
    Shopping with my 2 year old has proven to be impossible so I either go alone or we all go. I can shop and my husband will watch him and we switch depending on what we're shopping for. Sitting in the shopping cart lasts 20 minutes tops and we all know a trip to Costco lasts longer than 20 minutes! Well last time we were there he was being his usual self; hopping, dancing, and singing as we walked up and down the aisles. When we sat down to have a slice of pizza, he would not sit still; once again jumping and singing. Well to my surprise we received a very nice compliment from two ladies that were shopping as well and then sat next to us to have a slice of pizza. My husband told our son "shhh..." thinking the singing would bother them. They told us, "Oh just let him, he's fine. You never know he may be a singer one day." Then they continued with, "You two must be really good parents. You have such a happy son, he's so free spirited and full of energy!" Of course we said thank you but after reading this post I honestly think we should have said much more. Their comments meant so much to us; they saw a happy free spirited toddler while others judge or get bothered. I'm so glad they told us what they did. From now on every time I get stares and whispers I will think, "I don't care I'm glad to have a truly happy and free spirited son!"

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    1. Wow Esme! I loved your story. Kids are kids! All I can say is share the love. I know when I see a Mom who is struggling with a kid having a tantrum in the store I always catch her eye and smile. I'm trying to tell her, it's okay, we have all been there.

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