Okay, not really, but sort of.
I've learned to let my two year old test her limitations and grow from them. This means she often wants to take charge and do things on her own. With my oldest, I'd step in and do it all for him. Little did I know this was actually making things worse. The terrible twos were truly a disaster fueled by tantrums and tears with my firstborn. See, I imagined he couldn't do what he wanted, so there was no use in letting him try or even pretending that he did in fact complete a task.
Developing toddlers want to feel powerful and in control which manifests in so many power struggles if we allow it to. There are many times when we can't necessarily say yes to a tantruming toddler, but when we can, we should. For instance, my daughter has this thing about having to unlock the car door. She can't quite do it yet, but every morning she thinks she does. I add that 30 second transaction to my morning and role play with her instead of experiencing the screaming and crying because mommy didn't let her open the door alone!
For my two year old, her list of must-do-alone tasks sometimes feels never-ending....
*push the grocery cart
*cook dinner on the stove (not kidding)
*drive the car (still, not kidding)
*put on a dress at bedtime
*etc., etc., etc.
So my daughter pushes a mini-grocery store cart when we're out shopping, "cooks" (away from the stove), sits on my lap to "drive," is often fed finger foods to hand-feed and gets to dress up in her princess dress over pajamas at bedtime! She's doing what she wants and what works for mom and dad. We are saying YES (when possible) while keeping the situation safe and reasonable.
Then there are moments when parents must say no and though it may not be pretty it's necessary. So tantrums and episodes will occur. My two year old has her moments, but letting her test her independence has really relieved some of this so-called terrible twos stuff. We do our best and try to create a WIN-WIN for everyone's sanity and sake!
Share your tips too - we can use all the tips we can get!