Thursday, February 21, 2013

Yelling Doesn't Work



I grew up in a family with a ton of yelling. Communication was typically talking loudly over each other. We were all pretty temperamental and yelling almost came to be normal.  Through high school and college I was a very energetic and loud person. Nothing wrong with that, but I suppose it's just another form of "yelling." 

Can you hear me now?
Then, I had kids! Yelling for some moms is the go-to form of communication and to be honest it's been mine for years. However as of very late, I've turned a corner with yelling and realized that it doesn't work. Maybe this is something most parents already understand, but this mom learned the hard way. I reflected on the times I've yelled (which have been too many) and came to realize that those moments tend to leave behind only guilt and remorse along with a feeling of burn-out!

I wonder where he learned that?
Why yelling doesn't work?
  • It's overpowering and scary for children. 
  • It teaches kids to resolve their angst by yelling too.
  • It only leaves you more stressed when you probably began yelling to de-stress.
Now don't get me wrong, from time-to-time I sternly raise my voice and my kids know I'm very serious about my point. But that's just it there; if I am the mom that ALWAYS yells, then when will my kids really take me seriously i.e. during an emergency? You better believe yelling is best served to avoid freak accidents when a parent has to frantically YELL to get a child's attention quickly. 

So I have decided to give up on yelling but like any other bad habit, I regress here and there. Nevertheless, my greatest hope is that my children take with them into adulthood caring, calm and appropriate forms of communication and yelling just doesn't fit the bill. More importantly,  I want my children to have the ability to communicate lovingly with their children and spouses, and that loving communication starts now, with my example!

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2 comments:

  1. This is really cute!!! I too, have been thinking about this very thing and striving to do better! A great quote that I cam across today is perfect for this: "Words are chameleons, which reflect the color of their environment."
    ~Learned hand
    I often think that our words we speak to our most precious people need to be filled with love because this is the environment we wish to create in our homes.

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    Replies
    1. Great comment. Thanks Linda. Looking forward to the next generation of people raised in homes where loving words and caring examples lead the way!

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