I asked a few women in my tribe about this issue:
" It didn't feel right to change my name. It went against my beliefs."
" I like my name. If we get married by church I might change it."
"I am traditional and wanted my whole family to have the same last name"
When my husband and I got engaged, my last name was one of the first things I thought about. I come from a family of all girls, so our last name would stop if my sisters and I all changed our last name. Part of me wanted to keep my last name just to keep it alive. Then I started to think about what our kids last name would be. Would I give them his last name, my last name or hyphenate it? The more I thought about it, hyphenating just seemed like a burden to the kids. Plus I really wanted to have the same last name as my children.
Then I thought about coming up with a whole new name. We were a new family and I thought a great compromise would be to just come up with a whole new surname. Something where we could use both my last name and my husband's last name. This way our kids could have a little of each family name. Since I am a Gomez and my husband is a Lerma I tried to sell the name Lermez to my husband. He reacted with a blank stare.
In the end, I made the decision to keep with tradition and take my husband's last name. There are some husbands who leave the decision up to the women and who don't have strong feelings either way. For my situation, after discussing it with my husband, he confessed that it was important to him. I took his feelings into real consideration and made the decision to take on Lerma. Although I still think Lermez would have been a cool new name.
Changing your last name is a big decision.
Leave us a comment and let us know why you did/will or why you didn't/won't change you last name?