We have all heard the stories and have seen the television show. Women who go into labor without ever knowing they were pregnant. You don't believe it can happen, until it happens to you. Today we have an interview with Monique G., a first time mom to 2 month old baby Matthew. Monique had no idea she was pregnant until she was being rushed to the hospital to give birth.
Let me start this by saying a few important things. First off, Monique was told by a doctor that she was not able to have children partially because she did not ovulate regularly. She has always had very sporadic menstrual cycles with many months in between cycles. I saw Monique a week before Matthew was born and she looked completely normal. Not a baby bump to speak of!
MG: Looking back there was heartburn. I had never had heartburn before. I did notice that it was harder to bend down but I thought I was just gaining weight. I had started to lose more hair than usual. But I just thought these were things that just happened as you got older.
HerMamas: The day Matthew was born, what symptoms sent you to Urgent Care?
MG: My cousin forced me to go because I was in pain. I was just going to take an aspirin and go to sleep, but she thought it might be a appendicitis or internal bleeding. The pain started as abdominal pain and when I stood up I could feel tight pain in my lower back so bad that I would have to stop and bend over. I knew that it was not normal. I knew something definitely was not right.
HerMamas: When you were in that pain did you every once think it could be labor?
HerMamas: What went through your head when the doctor told you that you were in labor?
MG: I think a "Shut the F#*# up!" come out of my mouth. The doctor told me I was about 2 cm dilated and was about to have a baby. I couldn't say anything. My mouth was open but I couldn't speak. They did an ultrasound and I heard his hear beat for the first time. Then I knew it was real and the doctor was not joking.
HerMamas: After Matthew was born and everything had calmed down, what were your biggest concerns and fears?
MG: I didn't have any pre-natal care. None whats so ever. I ate whatever I wanted, and even had taken a trip to Magic Mountain and rode the roller coaster rides. He went through lots of screening, but besides being premature, he was fine. Since my periods have never been regular they were not certain of how many weeks he was so it was hard to determine how premature he was. The best estimate is that he was born at 31 weeks.
HerMamas: Were you a big deal at the hospital? Did they treat you any differently?
MG: With the nurses I was like a celebrity, but there were certain doctors who looked at me weird. As if they thought I was lying. Lots of nurses told me I should call the TV show. I was like "No way!"
Hermamas: How did your friends and family take the news?
MG: Everybody was like "No way, how could she not know?" I mean I have watched that TV show too and thought I would know. I think everyone had the same jaw on the floor reaction. It was a big surprise.
HerMamas: You didn't t have the usual 9 months to prepare yourself, you just woke up one morning and a few hours later you were a Mom. How do you process those emotions?
MG: I sometimes feel like I was cheated, I didn't get to bond with him or learn about him.
HerMamas: When Matthew was born did you feel an immediate bond or did it take some time?
MG: I instantly loved him but the bonding took a little time. Since he was being tube-feed I couldn't nurse him. In those first few hours I was still very worried about his health. I was scared that something could be wrong because of something I did or didn't do. But I loved him so much and could not believe that I had no idea I was pregnant. The bond came very soon after. There was so much to take in that day.
HerMamas: There is a lot to learn when it comes to taking care of a baby. Most people get 9 months to study all this. You didn't get that time, and I imagine with a newborn you don't have a lot of free time to read. You are doing such an amazing job with Matthew, do you think motherhood came naturally to you?
MG: Having kids was never in the plan, but I am really getting to know him and his wants like when he is hungry or wet. I do have a nurse that comes in once a week and she helps me with my instincts. The hospital offered the help and I took it. It has been helpful but I do feel that I have picked up on it naturally.
HerMamas: Your boyfriend of over 10 years has 2 boys already. The oldest just turned 21! Is he a big help or are you both learning as you go?
MG: He is a really big help, but I think we are both learning along the way. Even though he has work, he gets up and does the night feedings so I can sleep. He mixes bottles and changes diapers. There is still a lot to learn because things have changed a lot. It took him over an hour to put together the bouncer.
HerMamas: You are an only child and didn't plan to have kids. Now that Matthew is here your Mom is now a Grandma. How is she doing?
MG: She is so stoked. She already has big plans to spoil him and buy him whatever he wants.
HerMamas: How is Matthew doing now?
MG: Awesome! He is such a good baby. I have been so blessed with such a good baby. When he first got home he would have to eat every 2 hours and I would have to wake his little booty up so he could eat. Now he eats every 4 hours or so. He is a healthy eater. He doesn't cry, he just fusses and moves his arms around.
|Baby Matthew 2 months old|
Thank you so much Monique for sharing your amazing story with us!
Leave a comment and share some words of wisdom with this first time Mom!